Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
