I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize