just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
