I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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