im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
wat bout pragnant strippers??
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
