The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
