you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
