Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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