i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
