no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
