I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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