I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
