it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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