I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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