I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
