You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
