Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
