he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
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Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
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nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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