So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize