I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
