So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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