2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
