Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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