Whod you bang
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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