i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
