And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
