i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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