its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
