Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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