i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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