Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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