We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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