Farmville is her only friend.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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