almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
