I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
