Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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