u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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