Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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