dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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