Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize