am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
