Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
