So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
foreskin is a definite game changer
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
