Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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