The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
