Only a mothe r could love this liver
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
