hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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