I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
