i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
