in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize