Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
