Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
