i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
