Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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