So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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